Come on, Groot, do it for the Vine.

Peter Quill after discovering the Internet. (via patrickat)

"Why would he do it for another vine? He has many vines."

 - Drax, upon hearing this conversation

(via thesylverlining)

(via super-0)


wongburger:

the-vashta-nerada:

pleaseremembermefondly:

charlisheen:

you know what i want to know

how the fuck did mr salt and mrs pepper make a fucking cinnamon shaker for a baby

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solve that mystery steve

THAT IS PAPRIKA YOU IGNORANT SLUT

EXCUSE ME ASSHOLE THAT IS CINNAMON HE WAS BORN IN THE FOURTH SEASON

PAPRIKA LOOKS LIKE THIS

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THAT’S FUCKING PAPRIKA

SHE’S CINNAMON’S OLDER SISTER 

GOD DAMN TUMBLR I AM FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR SHIT

tumblr gets heated over blue’s clues

(via theredcat)


buckbarrow:

buckbarrow:

buckbarrow:

i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father

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STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY DAD THINKS HE’S SOME INTERNET SENSATION AND HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT

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still Hangin with Yo frienz one year later

(via theredcat)


elevensleeps:

elevensleeps:

my mom says hey

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(via theredcat)


nativefemboy:

thartist72:

“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street. A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”

powerful Black Science Man

nativefemboy:

thartist72:

“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.

A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”

powerful Black Science Man

(via theredcat)


comfysweater:

YOU FUCKING DONUT

(via theredcat)


dannielle:

lovetheroughedge:

this was in response to what happened at my university, James Madison.

reblogged it before, rebloggin’ it again

(via theredcat)


t1m3l0rdh4nj1:

Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.

(via theredcat)


weaknudes:

waking up cold: alright I need more blankies

waking up hot: covers thrown everywhere. sweat behind the kneecaps. 3 dead. the pillow is the sun. critical condition.

(via theredcat)


poopflow:

"My best day had to be the day after I wrapped Guardians of the Galaxy. I was very homesick and coming home to my wife, and my home, and to my son, who was at the time 13 months old. My wife told me there’s a chance he won’t recognize you—but that’s okay that happens all the time. He doesn’t know, he might be a little shy…"

IM GOING TO CRY

(via theredcat)


(via theredcat)


(via theredcat)


englland:

fanofthedoctor3:

englland:

middle schoolers complaining about how stressful school is

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Excuse you middle school may have been simpler in your time but these days it can be so brutal. Had you read three Steinbeck books by the time you were thirteen? Probably not.

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(via theredcat)


Fucking white people
every person ever at least once regardless of skin color, heritage, or religion (via spicy-vagina-tacos)

(via theredcat)


1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.

2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.

3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.

4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.

5. Fart when you have to.

6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!

7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.

Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via notcapableoflove)

(via theredcat)